Related Reports: Finding Movement During Pregnancy
This is not a snap back body story. This is not a results report. Today’s Sam Report is a progress report.
Me in 2020 with my friend Micah
I just got home from a weight training session, and I want to cry. Somewhere between sumo squats and inverted back rows I was overcome by a wave of conflicting emotions. I felt proud of myself for showing up. Truly, when you see a mom out looking slightly carefree and focused on herself, please know that 1 million things were prepared and coordinated and ‘went miraculously right’ for to get her there. And then I was also feeling a bit bummed that in 2024 my body still is not snatched to the level I thought it would be by now. Both feelings are true.
My daughter is now a little over 2 years old, and amidst all the circumstances, I’ve just now really begun to focus on my fitness as a top 3 personal priority - with both my body and my mind. Because both are required for me to make the change I want to see, and unfortunately both have not been in the same room at the same time for awhile. It’s like when you try to make plans with an equally busy friend, and you realize your calendars don’t sync until 8 months from now. Love ya, see ya in Q3! That’s been the relationship between my body and my mind. Sometimes my body is raring to go, but I’m fatigue from the mental load. Sometimes I feel super mentally motivated to change, but my body is sleep deprived from taking care of a doggy with surprise diarrhea or a sick baby. On these days, weeks, or sometimes entire months, I don’t have the extra strength to resist a cookie or lace up for a 5k run. I just want to eat several (trays of) brownies, take a hot bath, curl up in a ball and sleeeeep.
The disconnected ambition of body and mind take a hard toll on consistency. Consistency. The not-so-secret main ingredient for impactful change. And so, unable to make any sustainably consistent effort, I’ve just sort of fluctuated in this purgatory of the final 5 pounds of baby weight and belly flab.
During my time in purgatory, there are a few things I’ve learned about myself and things I remind myself about through this process of finding of movement again after childbirth.