Postpartum Pants, A Story in Three Acts
I like to visualize life the way a TV writer would map out a season of a television show. The main character has a central focus or objective, the “A” story if you will. Then there are additional storylines developing simultaneously around the protagonist. Sometimes the “C“ storyline takes the focus, sometimes a new character comes along and shifts the entire trajectory of the “B” story or deads it altogether.
When I became a mom my storylines multiplied ten fold. There’s a developing story for your relationship, your surprise house repairs, lactation, why is the dog throwing up, planning an upcoming family trip, don’t forget to get a gift for so-and-so’s birthday party, is my cousin still mad at me, swaddle research, when will I sleep normally again, baby development milestones, hey what’s up with my career, my friend texted me 5 days ago did I remember to text them back, etc. And somewhere in all of it there’s my pants storyline after having a baby, a whole story arc on its own. The Aristotelian plot diagrams had thickened and were looking like a goddamn spiderweb!
Today I’m exactly 2 years out from child birth and my waistline story continues to develop, but I remember first acknowledging it at about 6 months postpartum.
As my pants storyline came into focus, I reflected a bit on my relationship with pants in general. I have actually never had a positive relationship with pants. All my life, I struggled to fit into them, trying them on at a store was irritating because I’m short, and I felt constantly dejected by the reality that pants are simply not designed for my proportions.
After having a baby, this feeling only intensified for me. I’m still too short for pants and now I’m looking at waist size numbers that I have never seen before. I’m not pregnant anymore but I’m still kinda look pregnant and it’s been…AWHILE.
Here’s my journal entry from that moment and the action items that ensued.
ACT I - THE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
Personal Journal Entry, Dated May 16, 2022
Today I decided to take some time alone to confront something I've been ignoring for awhile…