So here is the reason I’m saying no to your club night invitation, the reason I’m leaving early from the dinner party, and the reason I’m not responding to a late night text. Here’s what’s going on behind the scenes of my Do Not Disturb notification. I’ve been quietly building out an indulgent evening routine for myself, which I am ready to share.
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A few months after having a baby and going hammer on her schedules and bed time routines, I began to witness first hand how creating a sort of sacred ritual and a relaxing environment could produce a wondrous slumber. My little baby has the works! She has a “wind down” period carved into the program. Every night without exception, we ensure no screen time after dinner. We make our way to a dimly lit bedroom with the soothing sound of ocean waves automatically cued for 6:30pm. The next hour is a finely tuned sequence of warm bath, cozy clean pajamas, lotions, a good book, black out curtains and happy affirmations as we send her off into 12 straight hours of sweet dreams. Must be nice to be a baby!
And that got me thinking about my own bedtime routine. THE FUCK AM I DOING? I’m out here in my boyfriend’s oversized college t-shirt, hostile cleaning and doom scrolling other people’s business on my phone until my face hits the pillow. I’m not sleeping well, I feel dusty and tired and pissed off when I wake up. If I was able to come up with this heavenly rest sequence for a baby, could I not also create a heavenly sequence for myself?
Daisy inspired me to clean up my bedtime hygiene. I’ve started investing more time and care into making my own yummy yummy delicious wind down from the day. Over the course of the past year, I’ve been tinkering, adding elements, and making adjustments until damn! Now my bedtime routine rivals only that of my 2 year old, and lately I’m just so excited to go to bed.
First I asked myself, “What are my natural sleep and wake times? In mom terms, what is my wake window?”
I’ve observed that my body leans into sleep around 10pm and wakes up on its own at 6am. If 10pm is my goal, then I work backwards from there.
Next, “What do I want and need to do before I go to sleep?”
I feel best when my kitchen is reset, and I’ve done a good turbo clean. I need to shower and wash my face and brush my teeth, too. Okay.
7:30-9:00pm
Baby is down (yee!), and now can I dilly dally. Whatever I want to do, whether it’s finish some work, clean the kitchen and listen to music, have a glass of wine and watch a show, work on a house project.
9:00pm
I let the dog out to pee at 9pm, and that’s my first cue to wind down. Shut the laptop, exit the social medias, stop cleaning, put the to-do list away.
9:00-10:00pm
Then I mosey on upstairs into my quiet, happy, yummy place. I have set my bedroom up like a spa retreat where I am a the main character motherfucking princess.
The Environment:
Lighting is crucial. I’m doing warm soft lighting throughout. Our room is pretty clean, and so far (I haven’t told my boyfriend this yet) I’m feeling a neutrals aesthetic, it’s super calming. Clean and calm helps my mindset.
The Mindset:
Now picture me, a celestial body floating in the clouds pointing somewhere into the sky, among a backdrop not unlike the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. My movements are slower, my breath becomes deeper and longer. This sounds cheesy but hey I’m going for pro relaxed, so you gotta dress for the job you want. Breathe and float! Breathe and float! I’m shifting my thoughts out of “What is that mysterious hole in the backyard? and “We need more snacks and diapers from the grocery store.” and “Did I give Daisy enough vegetables today?” into thoughts like “What did I like about today?” “How do I feel right now and what are my needs?” “What am I thankful for?”
The Sequence:
Hot shower. Washing the day away with a hot shower, truly in my top 3 favorite feelings.
Pajamas. Putting on a nice set. A big t-shirt is also cool, but you are lying if you say that a proper set doesn’t feel better. So if you can, do it. I’ve collected some lovely pajamas over the years, they are good easy gifts to put on your Mother’s Day or birthday or Christmas wishlists. Again, dressing for the job I want. I want to treat good sleep like its my job.
Skincare. Moving onto skincare, brushing teeth. Important stuff. I’ve given myself a menu of small treatments that I rotate throughout the week. An exfoliator, a resurfacing mask, or a light mask. Fun!
Night stand thangs. Ok it’s feeling yummy and now we are getting to the juicy part. I float from the bathroom to the nightstand, where I have an essential oil diffuser that our nanny gave me for my birthday. Thank youuuu! So I turn that on, and then I spray my pillow with a vagus nerve mist and I massage my neck with a vagus nerve oil.
Bed. Now I make my ceremonious procession into bed. I, the main character queen, has arrived, and my sparkly clean ass in my clean pajamas will now take center stage in the clean sheets. I have also taken a moment this year to refresh our sheet sets with materials and colors that I feel good about. By this time I’m feeling pretty good. I pick up a book and read, and I’m dozing off by 10pm.
My Yummy Yummy Juicy Delicious Bedtime Routine Starter Pack:
2 Pillow mist and vagus nerve oil
4 Pajamas
6 Sheets
And that, friends, is my yummy yummy juicy delicious bed time routine!
Do you have an evening routine? Leave a comment below!
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Reporting back soon,
Sam