Tis the season to report is about something that gives me great anxiety. Stuff. Stuff in large quantities. Some people the feeling of love stuff. I am simply not one of those people. I keep my things to a minimum, but how I do I apply this philosophy to a growing child who is learning and developing their attention span?
Some of it is about letting go. I’ve been told that you just gotta let some shit go. Kids like stuff, they like novelty, they need a bag of time released entertainment to get from point A to point B in one piece. Never have I felt that until now. I have a toddler, and the diaper bag has evolved from milk and diapers to an Ikea bag full of snacks, pouches, and trucks and tubes and fidgets and gadgets and crayons and literally what the fuck. And this is just to drive to lunch and back. Granted, I think I could resolve to just bring a tablet, but I have made my own screen time decisions, and I suppose walking around with a circus tent is the cross I bear for that. (PS - I will probably never talk about screen time because I feel that that is a very multi-layered parentally charged topic with no right or wrong answer and frankly I don’t want the smoke.)
Anywhoo, while some of this topic is about letting go, I think some of it is about management. Here’s how I see it. For the first 2 years of life, babies can’t talk so they aren’t verbally asking for shit. And therefore I really don’t see a problem with stepping into the executive leadership role of Chief Gift Officer. Because I am highly sensitive to “stuff." I get itchy when I feel like I’m living in excess. And truly nothing makes me itchier than thinking about a high volume of incoming gifts for baby that they aren’t truly aware nor did they actually ask for. Here I have compiled some of the useful notes I’ve learned from other parents to manage the flow of stuff during birthday/holidays during their first 2 years of life.
Make a registry.
OH YES I SAID MAKE A REGISTRY! Registries are not just for weddings and baby showers. In fact you can continue to use the Babylist app for your baby’s birthdays and holiday wishlists. Viewers can see your child’s current size info, and there are even fields to provide insight on your kids’ interests and colors, as well as guidance on what you do not want. I have been curating wishlists every year and while this can all seem a little bitchy, I’ve actually only heard resounding positive feedback from grandparents that making a list with links is very helpful. It’s specific and it’s less cumbersome for everyone. No guessing games (guess what, 65 year old grandparents aren’t exactly tapped in with the 2 year old scene), no duplicates, no returns, no items that are offensively opposed to your nursery aesthetic.
Okay what goes on the registry?
Stop and think.
I take a moment to think of my child’s age appropriate wants and needs, and how much space I have. I take the next moment to think about what my child does not need. Do we have more than enough stuffed animals but need a new set of crayons and Play Doh? Are we planning to start swim lessons in the spring? Have grandma and grandpa been wanting to take a trip to the local aquarium? Can’t stand toys with batteries? Did my child hit a growth spurt and now all of their socks don’t fit? I note all of these things.
Gifts don’t have to be stuff.
There are plenty of amazing “stuff” alternatives!
Experiential Gifts - Memberships to a museum, a play space, the zoo, etc. Tickets to a show or an amusement park.
Donations - My daughter was 2 months old at her first Christmas, and newborns are not asking for nor needing much outside of milk. So that Christmas instead of gifts I asked for blankets that I donated to the women’s shelter on her behalf.
College Fund - Folks can make contributions to your child’s 529 account.
Also, gifts can be things they need.
Especially when babies aren’t old enough to write their own wishlists, I find it more efficient to gift them things they need. A year’s worth of toothbrushes? Yes. Bigger socks? Yes.
For my daughter’s 2nd birthday, I asked for socks and stickers. Both minimally invasive and actual needs, all at a fairly reasonable price point for our guests.
Now, make some space.
I review all the toys and purge toys that they’ve aged out of. I imagine as my child gets older we will make a ritual of picking out a few toys together to donate to those in need.
Distribution Center: I hide gifts.
To manage the sudden high volume of toys n’ shit, I put like 3-4 gifts out, and then I store the rest in a closet. Over the year, I introduce the remaining toys. This works for me, because I’m not just suddenly flooded with things in the playroom, and it also integrates well with my toy rotation system. I am also noticing in this toddler era that it’s good to have a stockpile of new toys and small doo-dah’s ready for road trips or flights. Not sure how long I can ride this tactic out for, but I’m going to do it ‘til the wheels fall off.
That’s it for me today, paid subscribers scroll on for the audio voiceover!
Report back soon,
Sam